Okay, so it may seem like everyone in the Disney community is radiating with confidence. While that may be true for many, there are a group of people who still struggle with anxiety. I (Tiffany) have struggled with anxiety my whole life but it’s never been so apparent until the past year. I’ve struggled with anxiety over my health, over meeting new people, over my self image, and literally for no reason at all. If you’ve followed along on my Instagram feed you will see a smiling face. You will see someone who has no problem taking photos. You will see someone with plenty of friends. You will see a confident face. Yet, that person still struggles with anxiety on a daily basis. So, how is it that I’m able to function and appear confident on some levels, despite my struggle with anxiety? I won’t act like I’m the expert. I won’t say I have all the answers. But I DO want to share some of the things that have really helped me acquire more confidence in who I am. It definitely didn’t happen over night. Of course there are still many times where I still struggle. However, these few things really helped bring me more confidence in who I am and understand that I am worth more than I think I am.
I spoke confidence & positivity upon myself.
Words are POWERFUL. In high school and throughout college I hated myself. I told myself I was ugly. I told myself I was fat. I told myself I wasn’t funny and that I wouldn’t go anywhere. The more I told myself this, the more I believed it. The more it became true. I decided something had to change because I couldn’t stay this miserable so I started small. Over time I found if I DIDN’T tell people those things about myself, then they wouldn’t notice them. If I didn’t point out my muffin top, then no one would see it. Instead of saying those mean things about myself to others, I just stopped saying anything. I stopped focusing on those things in the mirror. Then, I took things a step further. I decided to start speaking POSITIVE things into my life. That’s right folks, I decided not to be modest anymore. I mean, I didn’t run around telling the world how great I was but, when I looked in the mirror I started to focus on what I loved about myself instead of constantly pointing out my stretch marks, love handles, and wrinkles. I began to make a conscious effort to learn about my personality type so I could learn about my strengths. One of the personality tests that really helped me was the Enneagram test. There are so many Enneagram resources out there and I took advantage of them. I found that I am a “Six” on the scale which means my best quality is my Loyalty. I began to learn more about what that meant and focus on what those positive aspects are, rather than dwelling on the things I wanted to change. I’ll always strive to be better but, I took a vow to not put myself down in the process. I’ll still struggle with self doubt, of course it didn’t change all my issues. However, it did help me have a healthier view of who I am and know that I am enough. I CAN be successful. I just have to do it in my very own Tiffany way.
I found something I loved.
When I was younger, I did most things out of obligation because it’s what I thought I was supposed to do. I never did anything for me. I went to a four year college and over extended my bank account because I thought that was normal. As I did all the things I thought I had to do, I started to get lost in them. I started to forget what I loved and what got me excited. Then I found DISNEY. I always loved Disney but I decided I wanted to break into the Disney community right after I graduated. I would see other Instagrammers and I kept thinking about how I wished I could be like them. I wanted friends who were interested in the same things as me. I wanted to create pretty pictures. I wanted that life! So, I started small. I found other people who were interested in the same thing and my passion started there. I loved spending every week at my happy place. It has been the thing that has fueled me before and after my longest weeks. It allowed me to have a break from the heavy feelings I would face all week. I know there’s been some negative aspects pointed out regarding the “Disney community” but for me, it really brought me out of some of my toughest times. It may not be going to the parks for you but it may be something different! It could be taking photos, it could be playing a sport, it could be writing stories. Find something you LOVE and pour your soul into it. Let yourself have something that’s just for you, so you can refresh your soul.
I surrounded myself with security, so I could face my insecurity.
As I’ve learned about myself, I’ve found that one thing I need in my life is to feel safe. I began to find people in my life who fully supported me. In the midst of doing this, that meant I needed to cut out the people who made me feel un-safe. It didn’t necessarily mean having a blow out fight with those people. However, it did involve me making the conscious decision to pursue certain friendships & let others fade. I know I mentioned earlier that one of my most defining personality traits is that I’m loyal. That sometimes can bite me in the butt. I can put a lot of myself into friendships that don’t reciprocate the same effort. I had to evaluate my friendships and decide which ones were safe to invest in. Which ones could stand the test of time and which I should stop putting as much effort into. Once I surrounded myself with people who provided security, I was able to face my insecurities with more power. I had a steady support system that was encouraging me to talk out my issues and face those parts of myself that were more scary.
So, again, I won’t say I have all the answers or that I’m always okay. I still struggle with anxiety pretty often. However, these are some of the things I’ve learned over time that have helped me cope with my anxiety & insecurities. They’ve helped shape me into a more confident person. They’ve also allowed me to become more myself despite the things that I struggle with. If you struggle with anxiety, I hope these tips resonate with you and help you cope just a little bit better.
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